Why You Should Take Notice of Your Erotic Dreams
by Machiel Klerk
In this blog post Machiel Klerk, an internationally acclaimed dreamwork specialist and Jungian oriented mental health therapist, shares his perspectives on one of the more common themes in dreams: Sex. He explains why having an erotic dream – of the positive or negative kind – is in fact completely commonplace and nothing to feel embarrassed about. In fact, taking notice of our sex dreams can hold much medicine for our psychological, emotional and spiritual development.
You find yourself kissing your unattractive boss. Or even more grotesquely to you, a family member. In another dream you are in bed with a colleague who you had not really noticed before. Or you find yourself engaging in a sexual act that you would label as “deviant” or “pathological”.
How should we understand dreams of a sexual nature? And do we have to interpret these dreams literally? The reality is that these dreams are very common and everyone has erotic dreams from time to time.
In some cases there may very well be the literal meaning…you may just want to be snuggling with the person in your dreams. But in many cases that that doesn’t really make any sense, especially if it means making out with your unattractive boss or with a family member. It is also not the case to interpret is as secretly wanting to have sex with the boss or family member.
Something else is definitely going on, and it is safe to say that our dreaming psyche is trying to achieve something for us with these types of dreams. Unfortunately our initial repulsion might block us from exploring such a dream any further.
It is important to remember that our dreaming self – or ego position – is regularly wrong in the dream, so it would be wise to set aside our judgment for a moment to go in search for the true medicine in the dream.
In these cases we should look at the symbolic meaning of the dream. To have sex could be: to integrate, connect with, become one with, and love a certain aspect, quality, character trait or energy. For example, in the dream above about the boss, let’s say that he is very detail oriented, precise, orderly and that I, the dreamer, lack those qualities. Perhaps the dream indicates that I am in the process of integrating – or should develop – those qualities within myself.
So when we have a sexual dream about someone, one question we could ask ourselves is: What are the qualities that I associate with this person, and then see if I might benefit from the integration of those qualities.
Another possibility is that you dream about someone in a very positive way, who you had not noticed before. Perhaps there is then something to this person for you to explore in your outer life.
And then, of course, there could be instances where we may be out of touch with our natural sexual instincts or where we may be overly judgmental of our sexual nature, and it then gets repressed. Then sexuality may turn its darker face and then show up in our dreams to grab our attention in ways we may judge as eccentric or deviant. In these instances we might have to take a look at how we view sex and sexuality generally, and then consider how we may make some shifts and changes in our perspectives there.
Dreams about sex are very natural and always point to something of tremendous value for our life. There is nothing to be embarrassed about when dreams of a sexual nature arise. Try to explore the meaning and play with the suggestions shared here to work further with these types of dreams.
Internationally acclaimed dreamwork specialist, Machiel Klerk, will be hosting an Online Dream Circle via Jung Platform which starts on Tuesday January 8th 2019. The Online Dream Circle is aimed at helping dreamers from around the world to connect with each other in a sacred space dedicated to dreamwork, but also to learn to work with and engage more proactively with their dreams.
For more information about the Online Dream Circle starting in January 2019, visit https://www.jungplatform.com/2018/12/online-dream-circle-dialogue/
Machiel Klerk loves dreams, and giving form to dreams. He is a licensed mental health therapist, with a specialty in working with dreams. He is also an international speaker and dedicated social entrepreneur. Machiel has studied Psychology for more than 20 years.
Machiel has immersed himself in the World of Dream and has studied the significance and use of dreams in a wide variety of cultures. He distilled those learnings and developed his own style of working with dreams called Dream Dialogue. His audio book, ‘Rumi and the World of Dream’, focuses on the concept of Dream Dialogue and is one of the highest selling audio products on dreams.
He has published articles and given workshops and lectures on dreams in Europe, Africa and North America. Based on a dream, Machiel founded the Jung Society of Utah and Jung Platform. For more information, visit www.machielklerk.com.